Crocs and Cafes
by skeletorwrites
Summary: The best way to celebrate a promotion? Drinking with your friends. The worst way to find out what you did when you were drunk? Bank statements and ebay packages.


Teal fingernails rapped against the white plastic lid of a lukewarm coffee cup in a mindless pattern. The cafe was relatively busy, despite being noon, and the owner of the colorful manicure sighed once again. Bringing the drink to her lips, she drained the cup and touched her phone to check the time. 12:14 p.m. The person she was supposed to meet was late. As if to remind her of the reason for being there in the first place, the sad paper sack sitting on the ground brushed against her restless foot.

Ashido grimaced to herself and tore her gaze away from the otherwise innocent bag, turning her attention outside the window she sat beside. Willing the oncoming headache away was proving to be fruitless, and she could only hope the ibuprofen she popped earlier would kick in shortly.

Her mind wandered to the night she got herself into this mess. Her memory of it was still foggy at best, and she had no idea what exactly happened after her friends pulled out the jaeger in celebration of her promotion. All she knew was the next day she had a bunch of emails that she didn't check until it was too late, and one by one the packages began to arrive at her doorstep. Apparently her drunk ass had gone on a shopping binge, no doubt egged on by her equally toasted friends, and bought random item after another. So far she'd received two toasters, a gaudy fur coat that she couldn't even wear due to the summer heat, and an awful secondhand sweater.

But the worst of all showed up that morning.

A pair of worn-in, black, steel-toed crocs.

It was the last straw in her reckless spending, and after seeing she'd spent $150 on the atrocious item, promptly messaged the seller on ebay to ask for a possible exception to the no return policy.

As luck would have it, the seller was in town and agreed to meet up with her to discuss the purchase. Hopefully they'd hear her sympathetic story and cut her some slack.

The entrance door bells clanking noisily against the glass drew her attention. She watched curiously as a young man attempted to push the door inward and looked absolutely perplexed when it didn't budge. The bells chimed a bit more as he rattled the handle for good measure, then stepped back to check if the cafe was even open. Ashido smirked when another patron exited, swinging the door outwards in their wake. The young man looked like he was internally berating himself as he entered afterwards.

She took the chance to glance at her phone for the time, catching it just before she received a new text message from an unnamed number that read "I'm here!". Looking around for someone she only just realized she had no way to identify, her eyes eventually landed on the same guy who had a mishap with the door. He was obviously frantically searching the room, looking as if he had just run a few blocks.

Their eyes met at the same time, and somehow she seemed to come to the immediate conclusion that it was him; it was the seller, and the previous owner of the horrendous pair of "shoes".

The young man seemed to realize as well, because he broke into a giant, sharp grin that radiated friendliness and made his way towards her table, waving.

"Hi!" he greeted when he stood before her. "Did you by chance happen to buy some shoes off ebay?"

Ashido smiled. "Is that what you say to all new girls you meet?"

She appreciated his laughter while she took in his appearance; spiky red hair that he somehow made work for him (though she couldn't say much; her hair was pink), a tall and built physique, and a handsome face that had positivity woven into every feature. She almost refused to believe it was possible such an attractive person had possessed the terrible footwear - until she did a once-over of what he wore. A button up shirt with tiger print greeted her, and she took that as her confirmation.

Sir handsome-with-tacky-fashion-sense took a seat across from her and held out a hand, the smile never leaving his face. "I'm Kirishima Eijirou, nice to meet you! I'm really sorry for running late..."

"Ashido Mina, don't worry about it," she responded, taking his hand and shaking it. Internally, all her mind could repeat over and over was 'oh no, he's cute and nice, oh no, oh nooo'.

"So! What did you wanna talk about? Did the shoes get damaged in shipping or something?"

Ah, the moment she was both looking forward to and dreading. She took a breath before picking up the paper sack off the ground and placing it between them.

"I am begging you," she started, with no attempt to hide her desperation. "Please, let me return these."

To emphasize, she opened the bag to show the steel toes poking out. She could punch drunk her.

Kirishima looked between her and the familiar shoes in surprise. "Return?"

"Please. Take them back."

"But you just bought them? Not even a week ago, right? Was there-"

"Listen," Ashido interrupted, putting a hand flat on the table and leaning towards him. "Keep the money. I'll accept the loss just please, please take these- these things back with you, why did you even HAVE these?! No one I know will take them, I've tried." She snatched a croc from the bag and waggled it at him like an accusing finger. "I only got them this morning and I feel like I let a plague into my apartment! These are not fit to exist in a just society! It's a crime against humanity!"

All the stress from receiving strange package after strange package caught up to her at once, and she was met with an awkward silence after her small outburst. The two stared at one another over the shiny rubber and steel concoction. A random man at the table next to them gingerly picked up his coffee and laptop and moved away from their corner of the cafe.

Kirishima was the first one to break, as he suddenly began to chuckle. At first he was rather quiet about it, but it only grew in volume when Ashido joined him, cracking up at the ridiculous situation.

"They really are awful, aren't they," he questioned through his tears.

"Thank God - I thought you weren't self aware! Crocs are one thing, but this takes it too far!"

"Oh man, if you hate crocs, I should probably warn you not to look under the table."

Against her better judgement, she leaned back to peek underneath their seats and spotted his feet resting flat on the tile. She should've listened to his warning, as he was sporting a pair of bright red crocs, paired with white dad socks and all.

Her head threw back in more shrieking laughter.

"Oh my god! They match your hair!" Ashido clutched her stomach, trying to control her volume but having too much fun. "Do you have a collection?!"

"No! I was just! I was running late and grabbed whatever was by the door!" he explained, flustered. His cheeks burned in a way she found absolutely endearing.

She calmed down, and then he proceeded to tell her how he got the ugly things. His old high school buddy bought them as a gag gift from a garage sale, and Kirishima had just kept holding on to them. It was only recently when he went online to sell them that he looked up their retail price and figured he could make a pretty penny.

"Man, my friends have been getting on my ass about tossing those for a while now. They were so relieved when I told them they were gone!"

Ashido felt kind of bad, but she remained resolute. "I'm really sorry… I didn't mean to buy them, I just got really trashed last week and went on a shopping spree…" When he grinned at her story, she giggled. "I got a package with the worst sweater I've ever seen in my life yesterday, you would not believe! Here."

Her phone was slid over to him, showing a photo of her posing for the camera in a horrendous crochet sweater that dangled off her body past her thighs. Vaguely-shaped flowers were sewed on to the neckline in completely different fabric, and the sickly green of the whole ensemble made Kirishima howl. His smile softened a bit as Ashido flicked through the pictures for him to see, her grin present in every single frame; even the ones where she was laughing so much that she was blurry from moving. It gave him a warm feeling in his chest.

"What'd you do with it?" he asked, looking up with mirth in his eyes.

"I burned it."

"What?!" he wheezed. They hunched over again, trying to talk through their giggles.

"I did! I couldn't return it to the poor old woman on the marketplace where I bought it - I would've felt terrible!"

"So you burned it?! Dude!"

"I did what I had to and don't you dare say it didn't deserve it."

"I thought it looked good on you," he said nonchalantly. A delicate pink eyebrow raised at him. "But I feel like you could make anything look good."

The compliment caught her by surprise and she immediately felt her cheeks heat up. Despite his goofy personality, he was smoother than she originally gave him credit for. Giggling in a flirty fashion, she thanked him.

"Though I don't know if I can say the same, Kirishima. Those things on your feet? The shoes make the man," she joked. He faked offense and put a fist to his chest.

"Hey, what's manlier than a dude wearing crocs!"

"It looks like you're about to work in a garden! Not sure if that's the impression you're trying to give off," she choked out. He crossed his arms and leaned forward, a challenging smirk on his lips.

"Would it impress you if I said I actually have a garden?" His eyebrows wiggled, and she had to cover her mouth to stop herself from snorting.

"No, but what if I said I was already impressed?" she shamelessly smirked back.

This time it was his turn to blush while he coughed into his fist to clear his throat. She took it as a victory. She decided to take pity on him and move the subject along, but she'd be the first one to admit she already had a bit of a crush on the guy. She hoped he might be interested, too.

The long forgotten shoes sat where she left them. Sighing, she hid them back in the bag.

"Really though, would you mind taking these back with you? I'm begging. I feel like if I put them back in my closet they'll curse my wardrobe."

Kirishima snickered, but agreed. How could he not, when the pretty girl in front of him asked in such a charming way? "Sure, let me stop by an atm and I'll give you cash."

Ashido's smile never disappeared as she waved her hand and shook her head. "Actually, I changed my mind. You can keep the money."

"What?! I'm not gonna keep it if you're returning the shoes! That wouldn't be manly," he protested. His reaction pretty much solidified her decision, however.

"What a gentleman~ alright, how about you buy me another coffee instead?" she offered. When he looked like he was about to object again, she continued. "Or… I don't have anywhere to be today, if you wanna keep me company? Maybe we can grab lunch."

The redhead's eyes widened a bit as he caught on to her proposition. He dramatically sighed in defeat, but he couldn't hide the growing curve of his lips; he looked more than excited at the idea. "Alright, you're really twisting my arm here, but... I'd love to. Are you sure you're okay with me hanging around?"

She leaned her red face onto her palm and nodded, heart beating wildly in her chest as she watched him. "I'm really interested in hearing about how these hideous things came into your possession," she joked, pointing at the bag still on the table. She nibbled on her lip when his sharp teeth flashed again. The flush he sported was undeniably the cutest thing.

In response, he waved a server over to order drinks for the both of them, and settled into his seat comfortably to tell his tale.

"Well, I have this friend…"

What Ashido didn't realize at the time, however, was that she would forever have to thank those awful shoes every time she told the story of how she met her husband.


End file.
